"Fresh Courage Take", McLean Stake Youth Conference Trek

At the end of a funeral that Jeff and I attended back in January 2014, a counselor in the Stake Presidency approached us and asked us if we would be willing to chair the upcoming youth conference which would be a trek.

We said yes.

Later that day, we had a serious chat about if we could get through this experience happily enough in our marriage.  We have different ways of doing things and we have never really collaborated on a church job before.  We talked about some of our expectations and how we would deal with those and decided that we would be able to work it all out.

Now, six months later and trek behind us as of yesterday, we survived.  Survived well, actually.  I can remember just one incident.  We went out for a walk one evening together and the 30 minute planned walk turned into a 5 minute walk due to trek topics. Jeff is very particular about formatting a google doc just so.  I'm really bad at it.  So, that has required some patience on his part.  But, other than that, it has been a good experience together.  It's been nice to see our various skills come together in one product. 

Early in January, we started gathering committees.  We had the following:  Communications, Registration, Logistics, Food, Activities, Health and Safety, Stake youth leaders, Trail Boss, and Stake Presidency member.  We went back to the previous trek and wrote up charters for each committee on what our expectations were for each one and added our goals and vision for trek.

We met about once a month to plan and collaborate.  In March, Jeff went out to the ranch with Steve (trail boss), Chuck (logistics), and Kara (Activities) to scope out the trails and various areas.  Chuck did some really nice map work to figure out the trail, portapotty drops, and food preparation sites.  Steve made another trip out in June with the food committee so they'd know where they'd be cooking meals.  Abraham used zoho to create a database of our information and provided all the lists I needed quickly and easily.  Jeff and I provided the stake leaders with a long list of ideas for themes and the YW/YM stake leaders made the final decision on that.  Then, communications worked on graphics and a presentation of the theme.  They chose blue and white for "fresh".  They left some letters in the them unfilled symbolizing that they youth would fill it with their experiences during trek.  The background included a text block with all the names of the youth in the stake.  It was very nice.

Chuck and Barbara went out on Wednesday to get the handcarts all laid out and ready for the Thursday arrival.  Previously, they had also collected about 20 large coolers for food and about 20 large orange water coolers for water and a few other supplies.  I don't think anyone went thirsty.  I especially enjoyed the lemonade.

We had 150 youth participate.  We had 13 families.  One boy was unable to walk.  His dad built him a chair that fit into the handcart.  It was padded and had head support.  Various youth took turns pulling him and he made it the entire way.

William went with us.  He's our son and is 12, not old enough to formally participate.  He helped out on Thursday with the water stations. On Friday, he socialized a little more.  Friday afternoon was fun.  We had Lincoln come tell stories.  Kara had candle dipping going on.  There were pioneer games, and hair washing stations (in the creek) as well.  After dinner, the Langley ward brought musicians and we had a hoedown.  They taught us the Virginia Reel.  I felt like about 80% of the youth participated.  They divided us into groups of about 12.  Since there were more boys at trek than girls, I didn't feel guilty about jumping in and participating.  It was fun!

There were lots of spiritual opportunities:  Bishop time, family time, and firesides with the Stake Presidency.

Food.  It was delicious.  Menus included biscuits and gravy, pancakes, sack lunches from home, homemade bread, ham, cheese, popcorn, sausage stew, and chicken and potatoes, pie, scones.  We ate really well.

The youth slept on big tarps on either side of the wagons:  boys on one side, girls on the other.  William and I slept in our tent.  Jeff slept in his hammock.  On Friday, there was some prediction of rain so we had them put up their rain tarps.  They looked so nice on the hillside!  We felt prepared.  It ended up not raining, but the tarps did provide some warmth and kept the dew off their sleeping bags.

We had a few medical issues--slightly sprained ankles, a bee sting or two, lots of ticks, a possible allergic reaction. . . not too bad.

The testimony meeting is always a highlight since we get to hear what the youth have pondered about during trek.  I think they appreciated the opportunity to work hard together.  The carts probably weigh 350-400 pounds once their bags are all loaded.  Going up and down rocky hills isn't easy.  They had to work together over a distance of about 15 miles during the three days.  The youth gained spiritual strength from each other.  They had time to ponder the difficulties faced by the early Mormon pioneers.  We talked a lot about the theme of having fresh courage:  courage to pray, courage to have gratitude etc.

At one point, we did a woman's pull.  The young men were tapped on the shoulders to come out from pushing/pulling the carts eventually leaving just the women pulling.  The YW worked together and had the experience of doing something really hard together.  There were often times in early Mormon history when the men left to fulfill missions and teach the gospel in other parts of the world and the women were left to care for the children etc.

It was a wonderful sight to stand at the end of trek and watch the group come over the far hill and then approach us with their handcarts.  They had successfully made it to the end!

We had Shopper's Donuts for them.  We thought they'd eat a lot, but they didn't eat as many as we bought unfortunately.

Now it's over.  We just have some loose ends to tie up such as finances, returning borrowed equipment, thank you's etc.

My impressions:  I saw a lot of consecration on the part of adults.  They worked all day--from dawn until late at night.  They gave up work days.  They paid their own money for hotels.  They worked over hot stoves.  They moved heavy water containers many times.  They made many shuttle trips in the car.  The youth were particularly well-behaved, good kids.  I'm so grateful to be surrounded by a community like this.  Oh, and behind the scenes there were many people who supported us who didn't come to camp such as ward members who baked 64 loaves of bread, or who cooked enough potatoes for 225 people or chicken for that many, or made some 40 pies.  There were YMYW leaders on the ward levels who arranged rides, collected letters from parents, encouraged youth to attend, collected registration information.  I figured that there were probably 150 support adults for these youth.    I'm grateful for everyone who helped and hope that the youth benefit greatly from this experience.

Bishopric Changes

My husband has served as a Mormon bishop for the past 5 years and four months.  He was released on Sunday and there was a change in the bishopric. I've been reflecting on these past five years.  In the Mormon church, we have a lay ministry.  The bishop isn't paid nor is anyone else who holds a ward or stake calling.  He has his own profession and does his Bishop job in the spare remaining hours.

He has given many, many hours to those who have needed a bishop's counsel and listening ear
He has seen people change for the better
He has been able to wear the father hat and the bishop hat in our home
He has shown our sons what it means to serve willingly, consecrating his time
He has gained wisdom and compassion, humility

The years have passed by quickly.  Our youngest son was 7 years old when he started serving as a bishop; the oldest was 17.  Now, the oldest is home from his mission and at college.  Son number 2 is more than halfway through his mission.  Son number 3 is 16 and the youngest is 12.  They are growing up well and are all faithful in the church.

When he was first called, there were no other callings in the ward as it was a newly formed ward.  His counselors were out of town that August of 2008 for the first 2-3 weeks after he was called and so much of the ward organization fell on his shoulders.  I remember him standing at the pulpit that first Sunday, a brand new Bishop--the only member of the ward with a calling.  I was at the organ.  He had forgotten to line someone up for an opening prayer.  Our son Paul was sitting on the front row to pass the sacrament and so Jeff called on him to pray.  Since nothing else was set up for that Sunday, we only held Sacrament Meeting.  Gradually, the ward council was formed and there were presidents and counselors for every organization.  It was a very big job.

Fortunately for me, he did most of his appointments and counseling in the later evening hours.  I was usually asleep when he came home.  That was a blessing for me.

I think there are people in the ward who don't realize that I'm the Bishop's wife.  I have been low-key about it and just gone about my business. Jeff and I only cross paths occasionally on a Sunday at church.

I enjoyed the young women who fondly called me Sister Bishop occasionally.  I will miss that, but will pass along that distinction to the next Bishop's wife.

I will miss the comraderie with the other bishops and their wives in the stake and the Bishop's Refreshers. I think only a Bishop's wife understands what it's like to be a Bishop's wife.  That's why it is especially nice to have their support whenever we see each other at Stake functions.

It means not speaking badly about anyone in the ward (as it reflects on your husband and the spirit of the ward). It means being left out of some conversations sometimes.  It means that your husband knows things that he can't talk about. . . that was a first for us in our marriage.  Sometimes he would come home, obviously saddened by what had happened.  I could not ask questions; he could not share.  It was right and best that he keep confidences.   Sometimes I would worry that I would walk down the hallway at church at happily greet someone, not knowing that they had had a very difficult spiritual week and were hurting inside.  They might have thought I knew all about it when I didn't.

It means long Sundays as he helps other people.  Sometimes, I would stand out on the front watching for his car to come down the road.  One night I had invited a newly found cousin and her husband over for dinner.  He realized that he had a Priesthood Preview that evening to attend with one eleven year old young man from our ward.  My response was, "I guess that's what it means to be the Bishop's wife."  He went and arrived back home late for dinner.  It was o.k.  There were just moments like that.

Now that he is released, I look forward to Sundays and going to and from church together, Sunday meals after church together and sitting next to Jeff in church.  I have a list of home jobs waiting for him.  I wonder what his next calling will be. 

1/19/14  Update.  Jeff was asked to be the Sunday School teacher for the 16-18 year old youth at church.  He will team teach it with Brother Quezada.  It is an excellent calling as he was close to that group of youth when he was Bishop.  Now, he can continue to touch their lives every Sunday.  I think he's pretty happy about it.  Plus, he enjoys teaching.  As for me, I have been enjoying having all of his attention for our family.  I have also enjoyed having our new Bishop.  I don't feel the same sense of responsibility for the ward or the responsibility to live up to people's expectations of what a Bishop's wife "is".  I also feel the care from someone outside our family who will help us and I really appreciate that.  If you don't have a bishop, I would suggest visiting a Mormon church.  It is really a wonderful thing!