Commentary on "Successful People Don't Say These Things"

Successful People don't say these things:

I saw this on a facebook post.  The source is:   
http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/238537

I wanted to come back to this list regularly because as I think about the successful people I know, they succeed in part by not saying these things.  I think there is a LOT of wisdom in this list.

If you want to become more successful as an entrepreneur or in your career, you can start by making a habit of talking and thinking more like the people you know or read about who are already successful.
Here are some phrases you’ll never hear a successful person say:

1. "We can't do that."

One thing that makes people and companies successful is the ability to make solving their customers’ problems and demands their main priority. If a need arises repeatedly, the most successful people learn how to solve it as quickly as they can.

2. "I don't know how."

Instead of automatically shutting down solution-finding, successful people learn what they can in order to succeed in a project or in their career. For example, you would never see a truly successful international business consultant who travels to Italy multiple times per year refusing to learn Italian.

3. "I don’t know what that is."

Pleading ignorance doesn’t make the problem go away. It just makes the asker find someone who is able to work with them to solve the problem. While’s it’s always good to be honest with those you interact with, finishing this phrase with “but I’ll find out” is a surefire way to become more successful.

4. "I did everything on my own."

The best people know to surround themselves with others who are smart, savvy and as dedicated as they are. What makes this work is always giving credit where it’s due, as due credit to you will always come back in hand. Recognize those that have helped you or made an impact and you’ll continue to earn success and recognition yourself.
Related: The SEAL Teams Don't Accept These 10 Phrases, and Neither Should You

5. "That's too early."

You would never hear Benjamin Franklin or someone such as Steve Jobs say, “that is too early for me to be there.” If there is a networking meeting, project launch or interview opportunity at the very beginning of the day, the most successful people do what it takes to be there. Part of being successful is being at the right place at the right time, no matter if you’re a morning bird or night owl.

6. "That’s too late."

Along the same lines, if you’re asked to a 9 p.m. dinner by a potential business partner, and you can make it, definitely go. You may be tired the next day, but the connections you will make during a small dinner or after-hours meeting can make all the difference when it comes to your career or next project.

7. "It's too bad we couldn't work together."

Truly hitting it off with someone can be a rare occurrence, but if you truly connect with someone and want to work with them, find a way to make it work. Finding people that you really enjoy communicating with don’t come along too often, so whether it’s a case study or a new business, successful people know that working with those who truly align with your personality and interests are the path to true success.

8. "Let's catch up sometime."

Many times, this phrase is said as filler, without any true follow up. Successful people know that if they really want to catch up with someone, they follow up to make it happen. This also builds on the idea that the most successful people have worked hard to build genuine connections and relationships within their network, without any hidden agenda. Nurturing your network means being thoughtful of others, while keeping your relationships with them on top of your mind.

9. "I'm sorry, I'm too busy."

If an opportunity comes their way, successful people do what it takes to make it happen. Sure, this might mean longer hours occasionally, but if you want something to work, that is what it takes. After all, according to Lao-Tzu: "Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time,’ is like saying, ‘I don’t want to.’”

10. "That was all my idea."

Again, as mentioned in number four, the most successful people spread the wealth when it comes to doling out praise from a successful project. No idea is truly one’s own -- it’s a sum of their experiences from interacting and building off of collaborative ideas with a team. Doling out praise and encouragement is a crucial part of building a successful company and culture.
Related: 5 Things You Never Should Say to a Client

11. "I never read books."

Tom Corley of Rich Habits found that rich people read (and listen to) books at a much higher rate than poor people: “63 percent of wealthy parents make their children read two or more non-fiction books a month vs. 3 percent of poor.” Also, “63 percent of wealthy listen to audio books during commute to work vs. 5 percent of poor people.” Reading non-fiction (as well as fiction) can help reduce stress, enhance creativity and boost your memory.

12. "I'm not good enough."

Part of being successful is having a high sense of self-worth. Being yourself is one trait that promises success in business and your personal life. Follow your true interests. What you would do in your life if you didn’t need money?

13. "It's OK." (over and over)

Successful people know when to walk away and stop taking excuses from others. If there is a bottleneck and something (or someone) is preventing you from completing a project on time, build up your business, or move you forward in your goals, then it’s time to set boundaries and decide to limit your involvement.

14. "If our competitors don't have it, then we don't need it."

Copying competitors is one of the many possible deaths for most companies. True innovation comes from the flip side: figuring out what competitors aren’t doing and fill that niche to answer a need in the industry.

15. "Time off is for suckers."

True success should be seen as a well-rounded approach, one with vacations, weekends with friends and family and hours of downtime on the weekdays. While workload varies for everyone at times, taking vacation can make you better at your job.
Sometimes to get to where you want to be, the best and easiest thing to do is to simply follow the examples that others set for you.

 Now, my commentary:

Here are some of my observations of people who don't say these things:
1.  "We can't do that."  A computer programmer I work with on a big project.  We have had to create some new scheduling systems for our music organization.  While they've done similar things for other organizations, I know that we've given them some new scenarios to figure out.  He routinely says, "give me a little time.  I'm sure I can figure it out."  And, he does!

2. and 3.  "I don't know how." and "I don't know what that is" My husband doesn't say those words.  He always says look it up or read the manual, or think about it.  He seems to always figure it out.

4. and 10. "I did everything on my own" and "That was all my idea" My bishop at church is a good example of not saying that sentence.  He routinely is sharing or giving credit to others, pulling them in, and always thanking others.  It is very refreshing.

5. and 6.  "That's too early" and "That's too late".  This is an interesting one.  Lots of people say it's too early.  But, hats off to a 16 year old piano student of mine who has his lesson at 5:30 a.m.  That's because he goes to seminary (an early morning church class each school day that starts at 6:30 a.m.).  He's also a football player for his school team.  I know that success will follow him for this sacrifice.  The "too late" part. . . . is one I struggle with because I don't function well when I'm tired. Can one really not say BOTH of those statements to be successful? 

7. and 8.  "It's too bad we couldn't work together" and "Let's catch up sometime."  I love it when someone says "Let's catch up sometime"----and instead of leaving it there with a mutual nodding of heads, we actually pull out the calendars and schedule a day.  Speaking of which, I have a friend to call. . .

9.  "I don't have time".  Maybe successful people don't SAY that, but one does need to be wise and filter out things that don't merit your time.

11.  "I don't ever read books",  My husband is really well read and retains a very large percentage of what he reads.  I think it is one of those things that helps him to be successful.  It is easy for him to contribute to conversations because of what he has read.  I'm off to the library to get my bookclub book for the month. 

12.  "I'm not good enough".  You never hear that from top dogs.  Never.  Sometimes you don't hear that from the next or following tiers either.  I love determined people who, even if they might realize they haven't arrived yet, are striving to be great at something.  And the striving and the direction of movement are what is required.

13. and 14.  "It's o.k." and "If our competitors don't have it then we don't need it".  This is good advice too (that is, not to say those things).  I think sometimes too if there is a bottleneck, there just might be other ways to solve the problem (or abandon it).

15. "Time off is for suckers".  Amen. It is always rejuvenating to take a little break.

Bishopric Changes

My husband has served as a Mormon bishop for the past 5 years and four months.  He was released on Sunday and there was a change in the bishopric. I've been reflecting on these past five years.  In the Mormon church, we have a lay ministry.  The bishop isn't paid nor is anyone else who holds a ward or stake calling.  He has his own profession and does his Bishop job in the spare remaining hours.

He has given many, many hours to those who have needed a bishop's counsel and listening ear
He has seen people change for the better
He has been able to wear the father hat and the bishop hat in our home
He has shown our sons what it means to serve willingly, consecrating his time
He has gained wisdom and compassion, humility

The years have passed by quickly.  Our youngest son was 7 years old when he started serving as a bishop; the oldest was 17.  Now, the oldest is home from his mission and at college.  Son number 2 is more than halfway through his mission.  Son number 3 is 16 and the youngest is 12.  They are growing up well and are all faithful in the church.

When he was first called, there were no other callings in the ward as it was a newly formed ward.  His counselors were out of town that August of 2008 for the first 2-3 weeks after he was called and so much of the ward organization fell on his shoulders.  I remember him standing at the pulpit that first Sunday, a brand new Bishop--the only member of the ward with a calling.  I was at the organ.  He had forgotten to line someone up for an opening prayer.  Our son Paul was sitting on the front row to pass the sacrament and so Jeff called on him to pray.  Since nothing else was set up for that Sunday, we only held Sacrament Meeting.  Gradually, the ward council was formed and there were presidents and counselors for every organization.  It was a very big job.

Fortunately for me, he did most of his appointments and counseling in the later evening hours.  I was usually asleep when he came home.  That was a blessing for me.

I think there are people in the ward who don't realize that I'm the Bishop's wife.  I have been low-key about it and just gone about my business. Jeff and I only cross paths occasionally on a Sunday at church.

I enjoyed the young women who fondly called me Sister Bishop occasionally.  I will miss that, but will pass along that distinction to the next Bishop's wife.

I will miss the comraderie with the other bishops and their wives in the stake and the Bishop's Refreshers. I think only a Bishop's wife understands what it's like to be a Bishop's wife.  That's why it is especially nice to have their support whenever we see each other at Stake functions.

It means not speaking badly about anyone in the ward (as it reflects on your husband and the spirit of the ward). It means being left out of some conversations sometimes.  It means that your husband knows things that he can't talk about. . . that was a first for us in our marriage.  Sometimes he would come home, obviously saddened by what had happened.  I could not ask questions; he could not share.  It was right and best that he keep confidences.   Sometimes I would worry that I would walk down the hallway at church at happily greet someone, not knowing that they had had a very difficult spiritual week and were hurting inside.  They might have thought I knew all about it when I didn't.

It means long Sundays as he helps other people.  Sometimes, I would stand out on the front watching for his car to come down the road.  One night I had invited a newly found cousin and her husband over for dinner.  He realized that he had a Priesthood Preview that evening to attend with one eleven year old young man from our ward.  My response was, "I guess that's what it means to be the Bishop's wife."  He went and arrived back home late for dinner.  It was o.k.  There were just moments like that.

Now that he is released, I look forward to Sundays and going to and from church together, Sunday meals after church together and sitting next to Jeff in church.  I have a list of home jobs waiting for him.  I wonder what his next calling will be. 

1/19/14  Update.  Jeff was asked to be the Sunday School teacher for the 16-18 year old youth at church.  He will team teach it with Brother Quezada.  It is an excellent calling as he was close to that group of youth when he was Bishop.  Now, he can continue to touch their lives every Sunday.  I think he's pretty happy about it.  Plus, he enjoys teaching.  As for me, I have been enjoying having all of his attention for our family.  I have also enjoyed having our new Bishop.  I don't feel the same sense of responsibility for the ward or the responsibility to live up to people's expectations of what a Bishop's wife "is".  I also feel the care from someone outside our family who will help us and I really appreciate that.  If you don't have a bishop, I would suggest visiting a Mormon church.  It is really a wonderful thing!