Successful People don't say these things:
I saw this on a facebook post. The source is:
http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/238537
I wanted to come back to this list regularly because as I think about the successful people I know, they succeed in part by not saying these things. I think there is a LOT of wisdom in this list.
If you want to become more successful as an entrepreneur or in your
career, you can start by making a habit of talking and thinking more
like the people you know or read about who are already successful.
Here are some phrases you’ll never hear a successful person say:
1. "We can't do that."
One
thing that makes people and companies successful is the ability to make
solving their customers’ problems and demands their main priority. If a
need arises repeatedly, the most successful people learn how to solve
it as quickly as they can.
2. "I don't know how."
Instead
of automatically shutting down solution-finding, successful people
learn what they can in order to succeed in a project or in their career.
For example, you would never see a truly successful international
business consultant who travels to Italy multiple times per year
refusing to learn Italian.
3. "I don’t know what that is."
Pleading
ignorance doesn’t make the problem go away. It just makes the asker
find someone who is able to work with them to solve the problem. While’s
it’s always good to be honest with those you interact with, finishing
this phrase with “but I’ll find out” is a surefire way to become more
successful.
4. "I did everything on my own."
The
best people know to surround themselves with others who are smart,
savvy and as dedicated as they are. What makes this work is always
giving credit where it’s due, as due credit to you will always come back
in hand. Recognize those that have helped you or made an impact and
you’ll continue to earn success and recognition yourself.
Related: The SEAL Teams Don't Accept These 10 Phrases, and Neither Should You
5. "That's too early."
You
would never hear Benjamin Franklin or someone such as Steve Jobs say,
“that is too early for me to be there.” If there is a networking
meeting, project launch or interview opportunity at the very beginning
of the day, the most successful people do what it takes to be there.
Part of being successful is being at the right place at the right time,
no matter if you’re a morning bird or night owl.
6. "That’s too late."
Along
the same lines, if you’re asked to a 9 p.m. dinner by a potential
business partner, and you can make it, definitely go. You may be tired
the next day, but the connections you will make during a small dinner or
after-hours meeting can make all the difference when it comes to your
career or next project.
7. "It's too bad we couldn't work together."
Truly
hitting it off with someone can be a rare occurrence, but if you truly
connect with someone and want to work with them, find a way to make it
work. Finding people that you really enjoy communicating with don’t come
along too often, so whether it’s a case study or a new business,
successful people know that working with those who truly align with your
personality and interests are the path to true success.
8. "Let's catch up sometime."
Many
times, this phrase is said as filler, without any true follow up.
Successful people know that if they really want to catch up with
someone, they follow up to make it happen. This also builds on the idea
that the most successful people have worked hard to build genuine
connections and relationships within their network, without any hidden
agenda. Nurturing your network means being thoughtful of others, while keeping your relationships with them on top of your mind.
9. "I'm sorry, I'm too busy."
If
an opportunity comes their way, successful people do what it takes to
make it happen. Sure, this might mean longer hours occasionally, but if
you want something to work, that is what it takes. After all, according
to Lao-Tzu: "Time is a created thing. To say ‘I don’t have time,’ is
like saying, ‘I don’t want to.’”
10. "That was all my idea."
Again,
as mentioned in number four, the most successful people spread the
wealth when it comes to doling out praise from a successful project. No
idea is truly one’s own -- it’s a sum of their experiences from
interacting and building off of collaborative ideas with a team. Doling
out praise and encouragement is a crucial part of building a successful company and culture.
Related: 5 Things You Never Should Say to a Client
11. "I never read books."
Tom Corley of Rich Habits
found that rich people read (and listen to) books at a much higher rate
than poor people: “63 percent of wealthy parents make their children
read two or more non-fiction books a month vs. 3 percent of poor.”
Also, “63 percent of wealthy listen to audio books during commute to
work vs. 5 percent of poor people.” Reading non-fiction (as well as fiction) can help reduce stress, enhance creativity and boost your memory.
12. "I'm not good enough."
Part of being successful is having a high sense of self-worth.
Being yourself is one trait that promises success in business and your
personal life. Follow your true interests. What you would do in your
life if you didn’t need money?
13. "It's OK." (over and over)
Successful
people know when to walk away and stop taking excuses from others. If
there is a bottleneck and something (or someone) is preventing you from
completing a project on time, build up your business, or move you
forward in your goals, then it’s time to set boundaries and decide to
limit your involvement.
14. "If our competitors don't have it, then we don't need it."
Copying
competitors is one of the many possible deaths for most companies. True
innovation comes from the flip side: figuring out what competitors aren’t doing and fill that niche to answer a need in the industry.
15. "Time off is for suckers."
True
success should be seen as a well-rounded approach, one with vacations,
weekends with friends and family and hours of downtime on the weekdays.
While workload varies for everyone at times, taking vacation can make you better at your job.
Sometimes
to get to where you want to be, the best and easiest thing to do is to
simply follow the examples that others set for you.
Now, my commentary:
Here are some of my observations of people who don't say these things:
1. "We can't do that."
A computer programmer I work with on a big project. We have had to
create some new scheduling systems for our music organization. While
they've done similar things for other organizations, I know that we've
given them some new scenarios to figure out. He routinely says, "give
me a little time. I'm sure I can figure it out." And, he does!
2. and 3. "I don't know how." and "I don't know what that is" My husband
doesn't say those words. He always says look it up or read the manual,
or think about it. He seems to always figure it out.
4. and 10. "I did everything on my own" and "That was all my idea"
My bishop at church is a good example of not saying that sentence. He
routinely is sharing or giving credit to others, pulling them in, and
always thanking others. It is very refreshing.
5. and 6. "That's too early" and "That's too late".
This is an interesting one. Lots of people say it's too early. But,
hats off to a 16 year old piano student of mine who has his lesson at
5:30 a.m. That's because he goes to seminary (an early morning church
class each school day that starts at 6:30 a.m.). He's also a football
player for his school team. I know that success will follow him for
this sacrifice. The "too late" part. . . . is one I struggle with
because I don't function well when I'm tired. Can one really not say
BOTH of those statements to be successful?
7. and 8. "It's too bad we couldn't work together" and "Let's catch up sometime."
I love it when someone says "Let's catch up sometime"----and instead of
leaving it there with a mutual nodding of heads, we actually pull out
the calendars and schedule a day. Speaking of which, I have a friend to
call. . .
9. "I don't have time". Maybe successful people don't SAY that, but one does need to be wise and filter out things that don't merit your time.
11. "I don't ever read books",
My husband is really well read and retains a very large percentage of
what he reads. I think it is one of those things that helps him to be
successful. It is easy for him to contribute to conversations because
of what he has read. I'm off to the library to get my bookclub book for the month.
12. "I'm not good enough".
You never hear that from top dogs. Never. Sometimes you don't hear
that from the next or following tiers either. I love determined people
who, even if they might realize they haven't arrived yet, are striving
to be great at something. And the striving and the direction of
movement are what is required.
13. and 14. "It's o.k." and "If our competitors don't have it then we don't need it".
This is good advice too (that is, not to say those things). I think
sometimes too if there is a bottleneck, there just might be other ways
to solve the problem (or abandon it).
15. "Time off is for suckers". Amen. It is always rejuvenating to take a little break.
I have a friend who is nearing the end. We have been friends for about 23 years. It is so hard to see my friend's body failing, to see the resignation even if he believes that there is a life after this one and he looks forward to seeing loved ones again. It's hard to watch his body grow more feeble. It's hard to watch him walk and to watch his appetite decrease rapidly. I try to be careful in what I say so that he can maintain dignity. The other day when I visited, I asked if he'd like me to read from the Smithsonian magazine. I think he enjoyed the interesting topics, the vocabulary. Then we watched some little comedy show together. I loved watching him smile. What a dear man. He's 91. I can't imagine that the next weeks and month(s) will be easy.
Later. My friend died this week on Tuesday. Last Friday, I was at his house since I had forgotten my purse. He sat in his lazy-boy chair, clearly very tired and weak. He was alone and I got worried about him making it up the stairs to his bedroom. It was only 6 p.m. I encouraged him to let me help him up the stairs. He finally agreed. He stood with my help and used his walker to get to the stairway. Several weeks ago, my husband had come over and installed a handrail on the right wall so he would have two to help him the steps. Jeff also installed a metal hand grip in the door frame at the top of the stairs. My friend pulled himself up one step at a time. I stood behind him just in case. About 3/4 of the way up, he paused and said, "I'm so tired." He leaned his head against the wall. At last, he made it to the 2nd floor and used the walls to go down the hallway to his bedroom. I helped him onto the bed and lifted his legs for him and pulled the covers over him. I helped him with his medicine. He didn't have a phone in there, so I got an extra phone and hooked it up and posted several phone numbers where he could see it in case he needed it. I was sad to leave him but knew the medicine would help him sleep through the night. His final words to me were that I was an angel.
I'll never forget that. Ever.
He didn't want a funeral, so we will do our best to remain loyal to that wish though we are going to have a little fireside to honor him. One friend's idea was to hand out sticks of gum and lollipops to everyone at the end. Another friend's idea is to plant a Black Gum tree which will happen in the next two weeks.
Our oldest son, Mark, has been a Mormon missionary for 14 months now. Mormon missionaries serve for 24 months. This is something we have looked forward to since the day he was born. Both Jeff and I served missions and we both greatly value the time we served. Serving missions taught us so many things that have had lasting value and given us great joy we had as we watched people accept the gospel. So, we were of course delighted as he prepared and looked forward to his own mission.
The departure date was far more difficult than I ever anticipated. It took me about 6 weeks before I could be unemotional about his being away. However, once that passed, I look forward every Monday to his letters. I feel that he is protected by God in his safety and health. It has been wonderful to watch his focus and dedication to the job at hand. He has worked hard and tried his best. That is a wonderful thing to see in a son. Mark's blog is here: Mark's blog
We have three more sons. I trust that they will all serve missions. It is such a valuable experience for a young man (or a young woman).
update: 3/17/17 Our second son, Paul served in the Arizona Tempe mission, Spanish speaking. You can see Paul's blog and read about his experiences. One thing I loved about his mission is that the missionaries got to use ipads for the first time and they were given permission to teach people using facebook. Paul taught people all over the world and some people even got baptized. I was allowed to teach with him so we often worked together to talk with people about the church through facebook. It was a really wonderful experience for me!
Now, our third son, Eric is serving his mission in the Michigan Lansing mission, Spanish speaking. He was sent to the Mexico City MTC for his language training, which was unique. You can read about his experiences here: Eric's blog. He will finish up in December of 2018.
I am a piano teacher. I have been teaching since I was about 14 years old. I love being a piano teacher. I always get excited when the school year starts because I choose new repertoire and set goals for what I want to accomplish with each student during the year.
Today is the first day of lessons. At 6:45, I had a "first" lesson with a 7 year old boy. We talked about note names, looked at the keyboard, played groups of black notes, learned a couple pieces that he will practice during the week, wiggled our various finger "numbers" etc. The second student was an hour later. He is learning the piano so he can become an organist. This summer, he prepared a hymn and got to play it on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir organ in Salt Lake City, Utah. We discussed proper pedaling this morning. He learns quickly. One day, he will not pay attention to how many minutes are left in the lesson. I think I need to hide the clock.
Three more lessons today, new music, reunions after summer breaks. The next student today spent the summer in Greece and the other family moved to a beautiful new house. The three children seemed excited to see me and two had pieces they had made up. We wrote them down and recorded one of them that was most prepared and I encouraged them to enter them in the PTA Reflections contest. And then my son needs to find some time to practice too.
Ahh. . . music. :)
(later in the week)
Yesterday morning, I taught a little boy where his thumb was. He thought it was his pinky. It was so cute to watch him hold his fingers spread out and consider this new information.
Recently, my friend's daughter spilled water on my computer keyboard and ruined it. I wasn't home at the time. My friend replaced the keyboard and had her daughter write a note of apology to me. I wish I had kept it because it was perfect. The daughter was 7 so I'm sure she was coached, but it had these elements:
1. She explained what she had broken
2. How it had happened
3. That she knew it was wrong and that she shouldn't have had a drink nearby
4. That she won't do it again
5. That she would replace the keyboard with a new one
6. She still wanted to be friends with me.
I appreciated that her mother had taught her how to repent of a wrong-doing. It made me remember when I was about that age and had accidentally hit a Christmas light hanging from the roof and broken it. Similarly, I had written a note of apology. I was grateful when the owner of the house wrote back to me to say she had forgiven me. I remember feeling my burden being lifted.
I am aware of another situation where someone was wronged and the person who did it wrote a note of apology. However, the wronged person did not respond at all and it is very hard when one has made an effort to repent but is not receiving the gift of forgiveness. I'm learning some lessons.
A good thank you note, thoughtfully composed, is humbling and really makes you think about how you came up short in your behavior. I'm grateful for those who have forgiven me. I pray the others will forgive me.
Of course, this makes me think of Jesus Christ who taught us to forgive all. And, if we hope for our own forgiveness, it is a given that we must forgive others.
At the end of a funeral that Jeff and I attended back in January 2014, a counselor in the Stake Presidency approached us and asked us if we would be willing to chair the upcoming youth conference which would be a trek.
We said yes.
Later that day, we had a serious chat about if we could get through this experience happily enough in our marriage. We have different ways of doing things and we have never really collaborated on a church job before. We talked about some of our expectations and how we would deal with those and decided that we would be able to work it all out.
Now, six months later and trek behind us as of yesterday, we survived. Survived well, actually. I can remember just one incident. We went out for a walk one evening together and the 30 minute planned walk turned into a 5 minute walk due to trek topics. Jeff is very particular about formatting a google doc just so. I'm
really bad at it. So, that has required some patience on his part. But, other than that, it has been a good experience together. It's been nice to see our various skills come together in one product.
Early in January, we started gathering committees. We had the following: Communications, Registration, Logistics, Food, Activities, Health and Safety, Stake youth leaders, Trail Boss, and Stake Presidency member. We went back to the previous trek and wrote up charters for each committee on what our expectations were for each one and added our goals and vision for trek.
We met about once a month to plan and collaborate. In March, Jeff went out to the ranch with Steve (trail boss), Chuck (logistics), and Kara (Activities) to scope out the trails and various areas. Chuck did some really nice map work to figure out the trail, portapotty drops, and food preparation sites. Steve made another trip out in June with the food committee so they'd know where they'd be cooking meals. Abraham used zoho to create a database of our information and provided all the lists I needed quickly and easily. Jeff and I provided the stake leaders with a long list of ideas for themes and the YW/YM stake leaders made the final decision on that. Then, communications worked on graphics and a presentation of the theme. They chose blue and white for "fresh". They left some letters in the them unfilled symbolizing that they youth would fill it with their experiences during trek. The background included a text block with all the names of the youth in the stake. It was very nice.
Chuck and Barbara went out on Wednesday to get the handcarts all laid out and ready for the Thursday arrival. Previously, they had also collected about 20 large coolers for food and about 20 large orange water coolers for water and a few other supplies. I don't think anyone went thirsty. I especially enjoyed the lemonade.
We had 150 youth participate. We had 13 families. One boy was unable to walk. His dad built him a chair that fit into the handcart. It was padded and had head support. Various youth took turns pulling him and he made it the entire way.
William went with us. He's our son and is 12, not old enough to formally participate. He helped out on Thursday with the water stations. On Friday, he socialized a little more. Friday afternoon was fun. We had Lincoln come tell stories. Kara had candle dipping going on. There were pioneer games, and hair washing stations (in the creek) as well. After dinner, the Langley ward brought musicians and we had a hoedown. They taught us the Virginia Reel. I felt like about 80% of the youth participated. They divided us into groups of about 12. Since there were more boys at trek than girls, I didn't feel guilty about jumping in and participating. It was fun!
There were lots of spiritual opportunities: Bishop time, family time, and firesides with the Stake Presidency.
Food. It was delicious. Menus included biscuits and gravy, pancakes, sack lunches from home, homemade bread, ham, cheese, popcorn, sausage stew, and chicken and potatoes, pie, scones. We ate really well.
The youth slept on big tarps on either side of the wagons: boys on one side, girls on the other. William and I slept in our tent. Jeff slept in his hammock. On Friday, there was some prediction of rain so we had them put up their rain tarps. They looked so nice on the hillside! We felt prepared. It ended up not raining, but the tarps did provide some warmth and kept the dew off their sleeping bags.
We had a few medical issues--slightly sprained ankles, a bee sting or two, lots of ticks, a possible allergic reaction. . . not too bad.
The testimony meeting is always a highlight since we get to hear what the youth have pondered about during trek. I think they appreciated the opportunity to work hard together. The carts probably weigh 350-400 pounds once their bags are all loaded. Going up and down rocky hills isn't easy. They had to work together over a distance of about 15 miles during the three days. The youth gained spiritual strength from each other. They had time to ponder the difficulties faced by the early Mormon pioneers. We talked a lot about the theme of having fresh courage: courage to pray, courage to have gratitude etc.
At one point, we did a woman's pull. The young men were tapped on the shoulders to come out from pushing/pulling the carts eventually leaving just the women pulling. The YW worked together and had the experience of doing something really hard together. There were often times in early Mormon history when the men left to fulfill missions and teach the gospel in other parts of the world and the women were left to care for the children etc.
It was a wonderful sight to stand at the end of trek and watch the group come over the far hill and then approach us with their handcarts. They had successfully made it to the end!
We had Shopper's Donuts for them. We thought they'd eat a lot, but they didn't eat as many as we bought unfortunately.
Now it's over. We just have some loose ends to tie up such as finances, returning borrowed equipment, thank you's etc.
My impressions: I saw a lot of consecration on the part of adults.
They worked all day--from dawn until late at night. They gave up work
days. They paid their own money for hotels. They worked over hot
stoves. They moved heavy water containers many times. They made many
shuttle trips in the car. The youth were particularly well-behaved,
good kids. I'm so grateful to be surrounded by a community like this.
Oh, and behind the scenes there were many people who supported us who
didn't come to camp such as ward members who baked 64 loaves of bread,
or who cooked enough potatoes for 225 people or chicken for that many,
or made some 40 pies. There were YMYW leaders on the ward levels who
arranged rides, collected letters from parents, encouraged youth to
attend, collected registration information. I figured that there were
probably 150 support adults for these youth. I'm grateful for
everyone who helped and hope that the youth benefit greatly from this
experience.
My husband has served as a Mormon bishop for the past 5 years and four months. He was released on Sunday and there was a change in the bishopric. I've been reflecting on these past five years. In the Mormon church, we have a lay ministry. The bishop isn't paid nor is anyone else who holds a ward or stake calling. He has his own profession and does his Bishop job in the spare remaining hours.
He has given many, many hours to those who have needed a bishop's counsel and listening ear
He has seen people change for the better
He has been able to wear the father hat and the bishop hat in our home
He has shown our sons what it means to serve willingly, consecrating his time
He has gained wisdom and compassion, humility
The years have passed by quickly. Our youngest son was 7 years old when he started serving as a bishop; the oldest was 17. Now, the oldest is home from his mission and at college. Son number 2 is more than halfway through his mission. Son number 3 is 16 and the youngest is 12. They are growing up well and are all faithful in the church.
When he was first called, there were no other callings in the ward as it was a newly formed ward. His counselors were out of town that August of 2008 for the first 2-3 weeks after he was called and so much of the ward organization fell on his shoulders. I remember him standing at the pulpit that first Sunday, a brand new Bishop--the only member of the ward with a calling. I was at the organ. He had forgotten to line someone up for an opening prayer. Our son Paul was sitting on the front row to pass the sacrament and so Jeff called on him to pray. Since nothing else was set up for that Sunday, we only held Sacrament Meeting. Gradually, the ward council was formed and there were presidents and counselors for every organization. It was a very big job.
Fortunately for me, he did most of his appointments and counseling in the later evening hours. I was usually asleep when he came home. That was a blessing for me.
I think there are people in the ward who don't realize that I'm the Bishop's wife. I have been low-key about it and just gone about my business. Jeff and I only cross paths occasionally on a Sunday at church.
I enjoyed the young women who fondly called me Sister Bishop occasionally. I will miss that, but will pass along that distinction to the next Bishop's wife.
I will miss the comraderie with the other bishops and their wives in the stake and the Bishop's Refreshers. I think only a Bishop's wife understands what it's like to be a Bishop's wife. That's why it is especially nice to have their support whenever we see each other at Stake functions.
It means not speaking badly about anyone in the ward (as it reflects on your husband and the spirit of the ward). It means being left out of some conversations sometimes. It means that your husband knows things that he can't talk about. . . that was a first for us in our marriage. Sometimes he would come home, obviously saddened by what had happened. I could not ask questions; he could not share. It was right and best that he keep confidences. Sometimes I would worry that I would walk down the hallway at church at happily greet someone, not knowing that they had had a very difficult spiritual week and were hurting inside. They might have thought I knew all about it when I didn't.
It means long Sundays as he helps other people. Sometimes, I would stand out on the front watching for his car to come down the road. One night I had invited a newly found cousin and her husband over for dinner. He realized that he had a Priesthood Preview that evening to attend with one eleven year old young man from our ward. My response was, "I guess that's what it means to be the Bishop's wife." He went and arrived back home late for dinner. It was o.k. There were just moments like that.
Now that he is released, I look forward to Sundays and going to and from church together, Sunday meals after church together and sitting next to Jeff in church. I have a list of home jobs waiting for him. I wonder what his next calling will be.
1/19/14 Update. Jeff was asked to be the Sunday School teacher for the 16-18 year old youth at church. He will team teach it with Brother Quezada. It is an excellent calling as he was close to that group of youth when he was Bishop. Now, he can continue to touch their lives every Sunday. I think he's pretty happy about it. Plus, he enjoys teaching. As for me, I have been enjoying having all of his attention for our family. I have also enjoyed having our new Bishop. I don't feel the same sense of responsibility for the ward or the responsibility to live up to people's expectations of what a Bishop's wife "is". I also feel the care from someone outside our family who will help us and I really appreciate that. If you don't have a bishop, I would suggest visiting a Mormon church. It is really a wonderful thing!
