Family Friend Vacations

For about ten years now, our family has joined a group of 5-10 other families at the beach during the Memorial Day weekend.  What follows are some of my reflections on the experience and why I treasure it.

1.  Conversations:  So many of these!  From raising children, to vacations, to good books, to outdoor activities, to playing the harmonica.
2.  Net-working:  The best example is advice that my husband gleaned and received from conversations from last year at the beach with this group.  He was able to report on things he had done successfully this year based on some of the things he had learned last year.
3.  Learning from each other:  On this particular trip, I was able to discuss some ideas for a new position in a group I hold with someone who is an international expert in the field of social media and promoting a cause and gaining support for it.  I also chatted with an owner of a large franchise who manages a lot of employees.  We discussed relationships with groups of different nationalities and how to handle conflict and the value of creating liaisons with various sub-groups in the organization.  I also talked with a very successful entrepreneur about ideas of things I could do with my piano business and skype lessons.
4.  Friends for children from families with similar ideals.
5.  Enjoying the talents of the group
6.  Good examples  of marriage relationships, religious stability for children from the adults in the group
7.  Good examples of working together:  We had a group of 58 people which was a major effort for meals.  We divided up the tasks over the days and each family contributed to cooking or cleaning.  One person did the organizational chart.  One person spearheaded the cooking.  One person arranged for a boat rental. The young teens often took chairs and umbrellas down to the beach to reserve the spot for our group. Those who arrived early did the shopping and putting away of the food. Some people swept and wiped off tables while others went to buy donuts for the group.

Losing a Loved One

My mother-in-law died on December 13, 2016.  I found out as I was driving a bunch of teenagers from seminary to the high school.  I held back the tears as they chit-chatted.  Then, when they had all left the car and it was just me and William, the tears flowed.  I will miss her dearly.  She was a model mother-in-law and was always so kind and loving to me.

I received a hand-written note on December 13 that she had mailed a few days earlier.  The contents of the note for now will remain private, but suffice it to say that I will always treasure the note and her love for me.

Since bereavement fairs on all airlines are no favor to those experiencing bereavement, we decided to drive.  We were already purchasing 4 tickets so that our married children could attend the funeral and we also needed to get our college son back to Virginia.  It was a 24 hour drive each way (with stops).

I was very grateful for the support of the Serenada Ward in Georgetown Texas for their help and hospitality.  Several of the members hosted families including us.  It was comfortable and a welcome respite from the emotional loss we were experiencing.

We arrived on Sunday afternoon and the ward members had helped out with lasagna and then we went over to the viewing.  I enjoyed visiting with friends and relatives. 

I'm grateful for my belief that life continues after death.  I believe that I will see her again.  I believe that she is busy in her work with others who have passed on from this life.

Learning to play the Harmonica

Inspired by my book club's book this month, Echo by Pam Munoz Ryan,  Goodreads review
I decided that I wanted to learn to play the harmonica.

Week 1: Practice time (Th=1 hour, Fri=1 hour, Sunday=30 min, Monday=30 minutes, Tuesday=10 min.)
This will be an on-going post as I learn new things.  My first goal was to be able to play a single note melody.  Youtube videos were my source.

Recommended Harmonicas
I did a little research on a good one to buy and went looking for some good prices on the internet.  I purchased a Chicago Blues Diatonic Harmonica in the key of C for about $8 on Amazon Prime and it arrived two days later.

Based on the list link below, mine is in the "acceptable, but not recommended, hard to learn on" category.  I wish I had seen this earlier.  Oh well. I can do it!

List of recommended harmonicas

Single Note Production

Methods for getting a sound

1. Tongue method--Successful on day 1 after about an hour.  I experimented with pressing the point of my tongue against the vertical slats between the numbered holes and was able to produce a single sound.

Reasons to tongue block:  Lee Sankey demo.

a. play octaves by blocking in the middle and playing out both sides of your tongue.

b. tongue flutters--moving tongue side to side

c. rhythmic flexibility--

d.  tone--better sound

e.  maneuverability for getting from one note to another (over large intervals--advocating using both TB and Puckering/Pursing methods)

f.  the best harmonica players use it :)

2. Tilting--I was successful on Sunday night (day 3) by tilting the harmonica up toward my upper lip and blowing from the bottom of the harmonica.

3. Pucker method--Monday morning (day 4):  working on this.  Having some success.  I think this will ultimately me the most successful to use for future progress.  (see description in the link above for how to make this work).   Wednesday (day 6): I'm better at blowing a single note than drawing a single note.

Monday night:  I can play Ode to Joy with a single note with accompaniment only at this link.  The tilt method and tongue method are both successful.  The pucker method still isn't very clean--yet)!
Ode to Joy with Accompaniment



Producing a Chromatic Scale--"Bending"

Monday Morning (day 4): Of course, once I could play single notes, I was no longer satisfied with just playing in the key of C Major.  So, now I'm exploring how to bend the notes.  Still not successful. . . . . will let you know when I can.



reference for graphic

1. Looks like the beginner method is "tilting" the harmonica.

2.  I've also seen hints about saying "ee" on the regular note and then "oo" on the bend. (Wednesday day 6):  having some limited success with this method as I experiment.

How to Play the Harmonica

Volunteering and Finding Volunteers

Thank you to a group of friends and family who filled out a survey about volunteering.  They come from all over the world but have crossed my path in some meaningful way during my life.  The first pie chart shows where the answers came from.  

The survey was inspired after a period of working to fill volunteer spots and anticipating other opportunities in the future to organize things and find volunteers.  The information is valuable and I hope it helps others as well. 

What factors encourage you to say yes to a large-scale volunteer job?

1. SCOPE/TIME COMMITMENT How much of the job is mine vs. how much is shared. What is the time commitment. What is required of me (do I just show up or do I need to bring/prepare something?) Will it be demanding physically, mentally or emotionally? Is it an entire day? One hour/week for a month? several months? a year? indefinite? Is it a more substantial time commitment? How will I get to/from? How much time will the commute take? What time of day does the job take place? I have to consider my previously scheduled events, family schedule, work schedule.

2. GOOD CAUSE I'm much more likely to volunteer for something that I feel passionately about and that doesn't seem like busy work or a time waster.  What is my interest or affiliation with the cause? How important do I believe the task to be or the person/group who will benefit.  What is the impact it has improving people's lives?  What is its potential help to others. If it's for my kids, if it is church related, or if my involvement allows me to be involved with my family or something that influences them positively, I'll be more interested. I consider my time and family and how flexible the volunteer job is (particularly with children - if child care falls through, can I bring my child/ren?). I consider whether or not my kids are involved and would be helped by my volunteering. If it directly benefits a family member in a direction I feel strongly about, I would be more interested.  For church: if I feel this is what God needs me to do. 

3. OBLIGATION, If it is my "turn" to contribute, peer pressure.

4. WELL ORGANIZED How much help I will have, and how well-organized is it? (Do I show up and do nothing for a long time because there are too many or not enough chiefs or it's simply poorly organized). If the organizers can make it accessible so you know what you'll be doing, and it's manageable, it's easier to say yes.

5. ENJOYABLE  If I was knowledgeable or the activity is fun. Are friends also participating? Do I know the people putting the job together? Will the actual event be enjoyable? ie: friends, it's outside on a pretty day, enjoyable task, personal satisfaction. 

6. ABILITY Whether I have an appropriate capability to do the job well”, ease of timing and location. If I have the time to give it my best effort.

What are the downsides to opening up a volunteer position to anyone who is interested?

1. Poor quality of work You might not get someone who will work hard and follow through.  

2. Reliability.People are flaky and they bail.  They may not understand what they are supposed to do or why it's important.  They may not have the skills or abilities necessary to complete the job accurately or efficiently.  Unfortunately some people are driven by notoriety or political reasons than truly wanting to serve. You can't be sure if they are reliable or not or have the experience to complete the task appropriately. Everyone thinks someone else will do it.

3. People don't cooperate. You could get people you don't necessarily work well with. 

4. No way to gauge experience. May need to conduct intensive training. You might not get the best person for the job, and end up making more work for yourself. It depends on the job.  Some jobs are basic and most people can do the job.  Some jobs require a higher level of skill.

5. It is more difficult to vet values like honesty. However, it seems that the larger your volunteer pool, the more likely you are to find committed volunteers. Trust and safety are big necessities

6. Trusting in their ability to get the job done. Trust in general. Sometimes get people who are too passionate and so unrealistic about goals and time commitments. Delegation and having to rely on someone else's work—especially if you don’t know them.

What is the best way to find people who will say yes and keep their commitment (especially if it is being hard to fill a position)?

1. Community-specific boards. Like-minded Facebook group? Post on Justserve.org. Have a sort of interview process to get it. Perhaps some kind of application process or some kind of training. If they are willing to jump through a hoop or two, they're more likely to be committed. Also, consider telling them they can't post about it on social media - if they're doing it for "likes" they might flake once their bored. If they're doing it because it matters to them, they likely won't care about social media or telling everyone what they're doing. Have a "job description" listing the desired qualifications and characteristics of the volunteer

2. Volunteer your time to help others when you can.  

3. Talk to them in person.  Asking personally and sincerely. Ask on the phone or in person and give them time to think about it. Explain exactly what would be involved so there are no surprises.

4. Get to know people before volunteers are needed. Maybe close friends or family. Get to know the people, parents, coworkers etc...so you know their individual talents, interests and circumstances.  Then ask individuals personally to assist in something of their interest and capabilities.  Include and express your encouragement that you know that their involvement would be a great benefit.

5. Look for family members of the participants who believe in the program you are trying to run.  

6. Feed them, Reminders and incentives (like yummy food)

7. Ask friends if they can do it or give you their suggestions , Ask around.  Church leaders, work associates, friends;  they know who to depend on, Ask the mid-level leaders who they would recommend, Ask others for referrals or recommendations

8. Find someone truly in it for the cause, Look for people who seem interested in that area, Find a group of friends or person already familiar with the organization or people being helped by the organization

9. Word of mouth

10. Good friends, Church members

11. Gather a group of potentials for coffee or lunch

12. Ask who is interested and willing, then follow up with an in person request for them to volunteer.  

13. Look for people who are gifted in the area and enjoy the work

14. Make the actual activity as enjoyable as possible. Help them to see the value in what they are accomplishing

Budapest, Hungary

Budapest, Hungary

The view from our hotel on Castle hill.  We saw a little of the Danube and a lot of St. Matthias church and its beautiful roof.

St. Stephen's Basilica at night: Gorgeous!

Such a romantic city.  I was so glad to be there with Jeff.  He had been several times before on business trips.  I'm happy that he wanted to share it again with me.

Inside St. Stephen's Basilica.

We were able to go to an organ concert. The organist was fantastic and was joined by a flutist and a bass vocalist who were both excellent as well.  The bass was notable since he had been singing since the 1970's.  He had a beautiful sonorous voice.  We bought our tickets about 30 minutes before the beginning of the program.  

Wonderful program!

MATTHIAS FOUNTAIN

In the western courtyard of Buda Palace is Matthias Fountain. The fountain tells the story of Ilonka (heroine of a famous 19th century ballad by Mihály Vörösmarty) and how she fell in love with King Matthias when he was out hunting incognito.

I fell in love with this produce section.  So pretty and colorful!

The Central Market in Budapest.  The locals tended to shop on the perimeters and the tourist stuff was more toward the center.  Some vendors were more popular than others evidenced by longer lines.

Budapest Tram along the Danube.  Working since 1866. (not necessarily this particular train, but in general).  We did a lot of walking around town, across bridges etc.  We hopped on the train from the market to get to the Parliament building.

From Wikipedia: "The composition titled 'Shoes on the Danube Bank' gives remembrance to the people ( mainly Budapest jews ) shot into the Danube during the time of the Arrow Cross terror. The sculptor created sixty pairs of period-appropriate shoes out of iron. The shoes are attached to the stone embankment, and behind them lies a 40 meter long, 70 cm high stone bench. At three points are cast iron signs, with the following text in Hungarian, English, and Hebrew: "To the memory of the victims shot into the Danube by Arrow Cross militiamen in 1944–45. Erected 16 April 2005."

This sculpture was especially touching to me. Sometimes it is hard to believe the atrocities that man can afflict on others.

Budapest Parliament Building.  Read more
They have timed entries and we bought tickets for a 4:30 tour.  It was about 1:00 when we bought the tickets.  So, we had some time to kill before our tour. We wandered down the Danube and saw the shoe sculpture (above), rode the train etc.

An old church on Castle Hill.  It has been rebuilt several times and you can see the various attempts to build it up again.

The Parliament building lit up at night.  View from Castle hill.

Dubrovnik, Croatia

On our way to Croatia!!


New tastes on the airplane:





This is such a typical scene all day in Dubrovnik.  Every restaurant puts tables out in the streets/alleys and there are always people eating until very late at night.



Beautiful water and boats.



Night scene within the walls of the city.


We missed out on some of the night life, but the morning we left, we saw people heading home at 5 a.m., so there must be a lot going on.

Morning view of a walkway.



7 am. view.  My favorite time.  This was when the locals went to the markets.


The stairs to our Airbnb place in Dubrovnik.



The kitchen of our Airbnb place in Dubrovnik.



The green market was open every morning.  The first day, I saw lots of strawberries and raspberries.  They were labeled as 20 krona.  The next day, early in the morning (7 a.m.), I didn't see as many and I had to pay 30 krona for a small basket of strawberries.  Hmm. . .




View from the wall walk of the harbor.  This area was targeted in the 1991 bombings/fire.
Notice the yellow submarine boat.




I loved all the tiled roofs.


Family picture in Dubrovnik on the city wall.



You can see examples of new and old roofs in this picture.  Many buildings were damaged or destroyed in 1991.


We started our wall walk around 9 a.m.  This is what it looked like around 10:30 a.m.



We took the advice of the cabdriver who took us to Durbrovnik from the airport and visited St. Jacob's beach for a little swimming.  It was about a mile walk from the city.


We hiked up to the top of the mountain (instead of taking the gondolas which were about $20 per person).  It was a nice hike and we got lots of great views of the walled city and ocean.



The sunset view from the top was gorgeous!







But then, a storm rolled in with thunder and lightening.  We wanted to take the gondola down one-way, but by the time we got through the long line, they had barely closed the ticket counter and refused to sell us a ticket.  We made a bit of a fuss since it didn't seem to safe to walk down in the lightening storm, but they stayed firm and gave us a taxi's phone number.  A bunch of other people were sheltering in some buggies outside the building waiting for taxis.  Fortunately, the museum was still open (until 10 p.m.), so we paid the entry fee and learned about the 1991 attacks on the city. By 10, the rain had subsided and we decided that we could just walk back down to the city (16 switchbacks).









 We rewarded ourselves with wonderful ice cream cones once we got to the front gate of the city!

Our next adventure was kayaking from the island of Lopud.  Eric and William enjoyed some cliff jumping and explored a cave. We all enjoyed being on the water.  Our guide was an Olympic hopeful for the kayak slalom event.








Lunch at Sipan:



The next day we took the ferry to the National Park Mljet and rode bikes.











We left Dubrovnik at 5 a.m.  I loved the lighting and deserted streets.