A good friend of mine died this past week. He was 91 years old. I have known him for 23 years. Our interactions have included attending church together, cub scout projects, dinners with our family, and enjoying piano recitals together and more recently, frequent visits in his home. He was a kind, gentle person who loved so many people and was loved by so many. All who loved him thought that they were his most special friend. We realized quite clearly at the memorial last night that there were many of us whom he considered special.
He didn't want a funeral. He didn't want people to fuss over him. So, we just had a little fireside, in the Relief Society room on a Sunday evening. We had a few pictures in frames on the front table, one bouquet of flowers, and two little dishes holding sticks of gum and lollipops which he gave out to children all of the time. The room was filled to capacity. It was an important moment for us to celebrate his life and find a little closure for our loss of a friend. I hope that he was o.k. with that.
These are my notes from the evening of the things his friends and family said.
1. Bishop Yeates: "I've known him for the last five years. Dick Aegerter was my home teacher. He was very faithful. He always came in the first two weeks. Sometimes we couldn't see him during the first two weeks because of our schedule and sometimes he was uncomfortable if we needed to schedule the appointment for the third week. He always came prepared with his lesson. He was very faithful. For the last visit, we went to his house because we knew that he wanted to complete his home teaching."
2. Bill Robinson: I was Dick's home teaching companion and I can vouch for his faithfulness even at the end. He still had a message prepared. Dick set goals. He was a sealer in the temple for over thirty years. One of his goals was to do one endowment session each week. Of all I know who have crossed to the other side, I know for sure that Dick Aegerter will hear the words, "Well done thou good and faithful servant."
3. Judy Kigin: "I have known Dick since before Joyce and Dick married. I have two stories. When our daughter Colleen was in college, she had abdominal pains. Colleen was so sick and had to go to the hospital. We called Dick to see if he could come give her a blessing. Dick gave the blessing and Collen had zero pain at that point. We were so grateful for his faith. Dick also performed another son's wedding."
4. Chris Hare: "I lived in the Arlington ward for nine years. I lived around the corner from Dick. We took muffins to him and got tootsie pops and gum regularly. He was a great neighbor. Dick would call for computer help. After the earthquake, Dick called and Chris was home. Dick was ready to go up on the roof to calk the chimney which had some cracks. I talked him out of it. My most significant memory was from ten years ago. After my mission, Kate and I got married and Brother Aegerter sealed us. We went on our honeymoon and came back to church and found Brother Aegerter on the back row of church. It was a constant reminder of our temple sealing."
5. Christin Lucia: "I'm in a carpool with several pre-school kids in the ward. We pass Brother Aegert's home and the kids says, "There's Brother Aegerter's house. He gives me lollipops." Another kid said incredulously, "You have a Brother Aegerter too?!" Kristin and Kim cared deeply for
Dick. When Rene organized visits for Brother Aegerter so he wouldn't be alone during the day, I signed up to go a couple times a week. At first, I worried that we would run out of things to talk about, but we never did. He told me some family history. His paternal grandparents joined the church in Switzerland. They didn't have enough money to send everyone to the U.S., so they started with two children. The two sons went to different farms in Logan. The family joined them in the U.S. about a year later. Sometimes the Swiss/Germans were treated poorly, but Dick never felt treated poorly because he was an athlete. He was the state champion one year in high jump and long jump in Idaho. He always tried to treat everyone with dignity. He was completely at peace with dying. He had a perfectly clear conscience and was at peace with his testimony about his life after this one."
6. Paul Lambert: "I have been Brother Aegerter's home teacher for about three years. I didn't have a companion so, I often took my kids. I will always remember his unwavering testimony. It was always Brother Aegerter who did the teaching. I would prepare a message and then somehow turn it to "What do you think?" and he would teach me. I will never forget his testimony of the Book of Mormon. He had an absolute love for all. I remember when I was new in the High Priest Quorum. Brother Aegerter always made me feel loved. I took two or three children (Wally and Rose). About six months ago, he knew he should tell his home teacher. The kids were there when he explained. Ever since then, the children have always prayed for Brother Aegerter and they did this without being prompted. When I shared with the children that he had died, their prayers were "We're grateful that he's in heaven and will never get sick again." He always let the children know they were loved. The presence of so many here is a testament of his influence on so many."
7. Petrine Squires: "We raised our family in the Arlington wards so, very early on we became friends with Joyce and Dick. Marilyn and I have remined friends. I learned back in February that Dick was ill. Marilyn wanted him to go to Utah but Dick didn't want to. Dick didn't want anyone to know. He didn't want light shed on him. Dick sealed Raymond (Petrine's husband) to his parents. Dick was such a part of our lives. We are so blessed to have known Dick and Joyce."
8. J.D. Evans: "I am an Arlington Ward alumnus. We moved here in 1970 and met Dick at church. I was a patent attorney and Dick was a patent examiner. My job was to convince an examiner that the invention was great and unique and deserved a patent. The examiner's job was to see if it merited a patent. I had a number of cases examined by Dick. Sometimes if a lot of progress wasn't being made, you'd go in person. Once when I went to the office, I was surprised to find that he was the examiner and I said, "Hi Brother Aegerter!" He said, "Don't you Brother Aegerter me." He didn't want to cmpromise his integrity as an examiner. Most examiners looked at how you portrayed the item, but it wasn't enough for Dick. If one case wasn't really patentable, instead of finishing, he would say, "There might be something that you haven't considered." He took time to show how the invention could be redefined to fit the requirements. He went the extra mile. He preached the greatest funeral sermon I have ever heard. He was a great leader. The only thing he didn't do during the temple shift was take a break."
9. Kim Dawson: "I am one of many grateful people Dick home taught. He was a wonderful man, such a faithful, kind home teacher. He was even nice to the cat. Recently, I needed a blessing and I received it in September (just weeks before he died). He always served quietly and humbly."
10. Donna Oliphant: "We bought a car from him. It was literally held together with duct tape. Marc drove it to Provo and to pick up his fiancee. It was the first time he had met her family. Dick thought ANYTHING could be fixed with duct tape. I was worried about my daughters getting married, but I knew about Brother Aegerter's reputation (he married later). He said he regretted not marrying Joyce earlier. Sometimes he was a grump."
11. Dick Farnsworth: "I am a sealer at the temple. We used to watch conference at the temple chapel. It was so sad not to see him the last time. Brother Willis is the czar of all sealers. He makes all the assignments. Brother Willis is the grandson of Heber J. Grant. Bro. Willis and Bro. Aegerter had been at the Cheyenne Air Force Base together. They used to reminisce about Montpelier."
12. Jill Casillas: "Our family loved Dick. He was a good handyman. As I was visiting him recently, I got to read through his sealing book. It was special because he had sealed two of the Casillas children. I got to see Dick regularly because every six months, he came to get his teeth cleaned. He was grumpy one time at the dental office. Just grumpy. He said, "The missionaries get to call home twice a year. I'd just like to talk to Joyce." Do not ride to the temple with Dick! He brought rose bouquets to the office at least twice a year."
13. Kim___: "I am a niece. I have lived here for 18 years. Joyce and Dick were my family after nursing school. I had a new car. I vacuumed the car at Joyce and Dick's house. Dick was kind of grumpy, but made a huge transformation after Joyce got sick. Visits after that point were really wonderful. He would make me avocado sandwiches. He always had soft white bread. And he always made me ice cream cones. He always brought diet A&W root beer. When he first started to decline, he didn't want to tell anyone. One time he fell. He laid on the street for 20 minutes. He couldn't use his legs. I was horrified to learn this. He crawled back into the house and pulled himself up. He said, "Do not call Marilyn. She'll have the entire Arlington ward at my house." On Sunday, he took a big nose dive. I told him that he couldn't be by himself any more, that he would need to go to a nursing home or hospice or have someone stay with him full time. He said, "I just want to be at home." He didn't want to leave.
14. Ray Alvarez: "I am also a sealer at the DC temple. I knew Dick since he was in the Bishopric. We always knew that the Arlington ward started on time and ended early. He was always very organized. I am the recipient of much of Dick's temple work. He did endowments every Saturday morning. He was a pleasure to work with."
15. Kristina Stansel: "I was thinking of the last conversation we had. He said "Please have Katie come see me after school." He was in the nursery when Katie was in the nursery. He asked why Katie hadn't come to see him. Kristina became aware he was sick when kids said, "Where is Brother Aegerter? We haven't seen him at church." He was a light on the hill. I was shocked when I found out that he was 90 years old.
16. Juli Bowman: "I knew Joyce first. We moved to Arlington in 1997 when we were newlyweds. Joyce was the first person who knew my name. She always said hello and always remembered me and was kind and sweet. Joyce came to a baby shower. Her gift was apples and pumpkin cookie cutters. The cute little dresses are all outgrown and worn out, but just last week, I used the cookie cutters. We loved receiving Christmas cards from Brother Aegerter. They were simple and he just signed his name and include a few sticks of gum. He always remembered the kids. The kids were shocked to learn that he was 91 years old. He was quiet and reserved. We wanted to do something to remember him and decided that we wanted to plant a tree--a gum tree. Besides the connection with the sticks of gum, it is also symbolic because it is one of the last to flower in the spring, but in the fall it provides the most brilliant color. We have made arrangements with Rene to plant a gum tree and are in contact with the Arlington County commemorative program chairman. The deadline was July, but since we have connections and the fall planting time is right, we will be able to get the tree planted in the next week or two.
17. Sarah Yeates (age 9): "He gave me a tiny music box and a cuckoo clock. I turn on the music box and think of him. He was very special to me."
18. Sierra Casillas: "I can't remember not knowing Joyce and Dick. I remember sharing time in primary and the purple quilt and Joyce teaching us. I always thought I was Brother Aegerter's favorite, but I'm finding out that many people were his favorites. I could tell he was declining. I asked him if he wanted me to read to him. He said, "Let's read from the Ensign." The Ensigns he had were from 1970! But he loved them because he could see how the prophecies came true. His faith was inspiring.
19. Rene Johnson: "I also read the 1970 Ensigns with him and he also talked with me about how the prophecies were being fulfilled. I was the recipient of wooden flowers. He must have spent a lot of time on those. He helped me with cub scout projects--such as birdhouses. He would often bring me bouquets of flowers and I took pictures of them so I could remember. He often attended my recitals and he never minced judgement on choir performances. If he liked it, he let me know. If he didn't, he shared that too. Jeff wishes he could be here, but he's in Paris on a work assignment. He told me that he was in the cathedral of Notre Dame and took a minute to light a candle for Brother Aegerter. He felt it would be a nice remembrance of him. He was a great friend and like a father to me. I will really miss him."
20. Linda Mason: "Brother Aegerter was almost like a twin to my father. At some point, I let him know how special he was to me. I haven't been in the same ward, but he always treated me like I was special.
21. Kent Colton: "It has been wonderful to sit and listen. Brother Aegerter lived life on his own terms. I knew Dick was sick but couldn't tell others. He did it because he cared about us. I didn't know about his relationship with all these children. I am impressed with the fact that Dick is now very happy. He and Joyce are together now. As for the questions we ask each other in the sealing rooms, he knows the answers now. It makes me eager to find the answers some day too. We love him.
22. Lincoln Oliphant: "I am a neighbor and ward member friend. He was a real straight arrow. His end of life decisions were just saluted. He could do it because the nieces. Thank you to the children for letting your mom serve. Did you know that Dick married Joyce because of a revelation. He heard it. Now I know there are some of you who want to say something before the evening is over. So, I hope you'll come up and say it.
23. Caroline Lucia (age 11): "Whenever we went over, he was always nice and always gave us gum and candy and root beer floats. He loved the gospel a lot. We could tell. He always added a message about the gospel every time we visited him.:
24. Kristen Corey: "I have the water works gene too. I found out fairly early on that he was ill. His wish was to stay in his home. I feel honored that we were able to help him. He loved his home, neighborhood, and ward. When the temple was closed in September, he said, "I have a month off, guilt-free." He hadn't been able to go for two weeks. The car was still in his possession. He thought he'd drive it again. Rene and I were worried that he would drive--but he was on vicoden. . . We signed up for hospice and them came several times a week. The chaplain came and Dick explained it to her. She never came back though. The nurse was a friend of Sierra's. The nurse heard him talking about faith. The nurse said, "Faith is important to me." Dick said, "It had better be." I recently moved to Mc2 from CA. In hindsight, there was more than one reason we moved here and I'm grateful for the part we were able to play in Uncle Dick's life. His capactiy for love was huge. He had a big heart and was generous and kind to others. It was just a week ago today that he was declining so rapidly but it seems so long ago."
25. Jim _____: "I have been a member for four years in the Arlington 1st ward. Brother Aegerter had a part. I was desperate for something. I was looking for spiritually. I had tried to find it by research and looked for 30+ years. I made a plan and every morning prayed. After 10 years, I noticed that being at church or around certain persons filled me with the spirit and I gravitated toward those experiences. A miracle brought me to the church and that feeling emanates from EVERYONE, absolutely every one at church. When I heard Brother Aegerter speak, I wanted more. When you are hungry and thirsty for spiritual food, you want more. That spirit is perfect in Brother Aegerter. He was knowledgeable, articulate, fun, entertaining, and had a good sense of humor, and everyone knew him. I looked for reasons to talk with him. Brother Aegerter always took time. He dignified things that might have been trivial.
26. Ashley _____: "I'm not exactly family, but I still called him Uncle Dick. A couple of months ago, he said he wanted to take me to lunch. He said it wasn't a date. He didn't know where to go. It was another scarey drive. We went to a nice restaurant. He just wanted a sandwich. He didn't even know what the stuff was.
27. Annabelle Bowman (age 12): "I love Brother Aegerter. I always gave him a hug and he'd give me a stick of gum. One time he gave me a stick of gum and I put it in my pocket. He said, "Why aren't you chewing your gum?" I said, "Because my parent don't want me to chew during sacrament meeting." He said, "Don't listen to your parents."
28. Katie Stansel (age 11): "Whenever I'd go visit him, he was always so caring. He'd always ask how I was and what I was doing. I usually didn't think much of it but I didn't realize how caring he was. I'm going to miss him so much."
29. Kim's husband: "It's been great to hear all these things. When Kim and I were dating, we'd go visit Dick and Joyce a lot. We spent a lot of time in their basement. Joyce told me that one day I'd get fat. We had a lot of fun conversation. I know he's happier now. I didn't like to see him suffering.
